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Michèle O'Reilly was quoted in a recent Wall Street Journal article

Hosting Houseguests

By Chris Swiac

When inviting guests to stay at her home, Michèle O'Reilly, director of the Connecticut School of Etiquette, makes the invitation as specific as possible.

She gives her houseguests details about proposed activities and the length of the stay. "We'd love to have you come stay with us … through Sunday morning. We'll end with a brunch," she suggests.

Although Ms. O'Reilly does "wait" on guests, especially at the beginning of a visit, she also shows them where the coffeemaker and other items are and encourages them to help themselves.

She also informs guests of any nonnegotiable house rules "in the nicest possible manner" at the start of the visit. (If you have "a laundry list of rules," hosting might not be for you, Ms. O'Reilly adds.)

If a visitor is careless with her belongings, she tries to "grin and bear it" and avoids inviting that person a second time. "These visits should strengthen the relationship, not strain it," she says.

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